Back To Page 116



faith. I do not believe in these formalities, although in official documents I give my religion as Roman Catholic. However I am always with God. Should it be necessary in future I will go through the formalities. Meantime, God is in heart and not on paper. Silence, a holy silence - our thoughts are with God.

Evening. Radio announcements are given. The last rays of hope and peace.

The whole world, waiting for peace, is concentrating on the person of some wealth, the emissary of the President of the United States. There is a last hope in his person that he might find a solution, I wonder what will be the final result. Brave Finland is still holding fast. However, the situation there is very serious. Neutral countries are witnessing the murder of the innocent populace but neither of them takes the courage to enter the deadly war. So far the peace negotiations seem to be fruitless. You cannot defeat a bandit by passive action, you need strength. Only the Allies, considering their strength, could face such a deadly contest.

1 March, 1940

I've taken Holy Communion. It's a very important day for me. Probably, two years have gone by since I last took it. I've not forgotten God during that period but, I have, of late, come closer to the Roman Catholic religion, and to accept communion I had to go through certain formalities. So far, there was no need for it in the past. The priest gave me absolution for not having gone to confession. The Lord entered my soul, it became so light in my soul. I feel so happy within me. Thank you Lord for your grace.

Friday, 1st March. Day and month of Hitler's aims. Day and month of his successes. He believes in Friday and March. What would he do now? The only obstacle is the emissary of Roosevelt.

We've got our own radio service in our camp with a loudspeaker~ At present I can hear music from records. They are triumphant marches. I go back to my



old days when, in Torun, there were triumphs from the loudspeakers informing people of the success of taking Zaolzie(?) from the Czechs. The heart was full of joy, forgetting that this success only justified the activity of the Germans and set us apart from our allies. Today they're our saviors. This day was not our success.

2 March

A warm, sunny day. Spring is in full swing. Spring wakes up everything and everyone to life. Perhaps there's also a belief in peace. People begin to feel spring in their hearts. Oh! How dear peace is to everyone. I must confess to a weakness; if somebody put a question to me, and said, do you want peace or the destruction of Germany, by means of heavy losses of the nation, I would have difficulty in making a choice. Certainly, the word peace is conditional on Poland remaining as it was. It's not acceptable otherwise. I don't doubt that few people would be prepared to continue the war at the expense of human life. Many people realize that continuation of war will mean the loss of millions and millions of lives. When I think ofthe suffering of the Polish nation caused by the Germans, the feeling of revenge still remains in one's heart. Perhaps it's a weakness.

If I could invent a wonderful means, if I could somehow remove the Germans from the surface of the soil, peace would have been an ideal solution. How dear to everyone is one's life, and human beings were born to live. For that reason, perhaps, one can explain the passive neutrality of the allies, who, for the sake of saving peace make all sorts of concessions vis-a-vis the Germans. They know what the German sword means. They don't think about their own passivity.



Thus we can explain the passivity of neutral countries, who for the sake of saving peace, even co-operate with the Germans, although they do realize that they are their mortal enemies. There's no question about it. They know very well what a German sword means. They don't think about their passivity. They listen to the Germans, because to them, it's dear peace for at least a year, a month, or even a day.

Through the loudspeaker they read the names of those who have got letters waiting in Paris. There are a lot of letters. I, being in exile, have not received any and have got no hope of receiving any. Whilst writing to the family I have not given my address, the same to Urszulka. I don't want to write from here because what's the result of it? - how to address it? I have no reason to worry about the family, I don't think that they're in distress. As long as they get news that I'm stiII alive. I don't know, and I don't worry very much that I haven't got any letters as yet. What does it mean, a letter? The essential is - return back, and freedom.

3 March

I get a worse and worse impression of French civilisation. There are some bright sides but there are also some very dark ones. I don't know what's happening in other parts of the country, but here, there's something really striking. I can't really sort out these brighter sides and the darker ones. It's difficult to establish independence, one from the other. Considering that French people are intelligent, a high mental ability to understand higher ideas, I can't see any sense in why they've got so many of those dark sides. Let's look at the facts.

In church, old ladies and children - but where are the men? Young men are - justified, but where are the older ones? And worst of all, where are the young mothers and the young girls? There are none.




All look healthy and fit to live, but demoralised. There is a surfeit of (ILLEGIBLE TO TRANSLATOR) and dissatisfaction with life. There is no other reason for it. The fact with the church maybe a case. There was a joint service. Our chaplain was serving at the mass. It was a sung mass. The role of the organist was performed by a French choir under the direction of the local priest. I say choir - it was a chanting of a few old voices, as if somewhere in a lost lit(?) place in our provinces. Couldn't they find some younger girls to form a choir? Our priest started reading the gospel. When he started, French of various age groups left the Church. The gospel was read at the end of the service in our language. The reason for them leaving the Church I explain as not understanding our language. It's sad, however, that the French don't understand this thick book which was lying on the altar all the time. They're the words that are normally spoken with respect whatever the language. There's a lack of interest in religion that leads to a fall in morality.

Only religion protects the morals of the people and a fall in morality leads to the fall of the nation. If the French could have seen our country and our way of life before the tragic September, they most certainly would have excused Poland for being surprised militarily and defeated. But, it would have been much more difficult to justify the French if they were surprised and if Hitler, having defeated us, attacked France at once. Especially the situation with Rhineland should've woken up the Frenchman much more than us, a very young country, not possessing the same material means. Thinking about it, I had a brain wave when I thought of Poland. Poland, with hard-working people, a highly moral nation with a great future, needed leaders who were capable and honest thinking about great and honest Poland.



Selptfonds - Judes, 5 March

In a meadow we spread blankets and bask in the sunshine as if it was a beach. It's wonderful, it reminds me of being on a balcony in a villa in Zakopane.

Among us there are two friendly Czechs, cheerful, fine fellows. They escaped from Czechoslovakia when their country was occupied and they enlisted into our air force. Together with us they went through the September campaign and together with us are here in the camp.

Camp de Judes 7 March

Alarming news - we're going away, today, or maybe tomorrow. Tonight we have a show in Septfonds - with the 4th Regiment. Those who are going away do not have permission to attend the show. Pity, apparently it's quite a pleasant and worthwhile entertainment.

Time. 19.40. We're celebrating our departure with white wine in a restaurant. We went to the show, it was very cheerful and entertaining - but couId it be any better?... It didn't matter that we had to pay for some of our junior colleagues, who a long time ago spent all their money. You not only have to pay for them, but also entertain them, offer them cigarettes and so on - but anyway it doesn't matter, what's the use in having money?

Fridav 8 March

Something is happening, as a matter of fact there's real disorder. Today they gathered us again. The authorities came -both ours and the French - and started writing, sorting out. The regular formation became mixed up in the assembly place and that's the end of it. Yesterday's register of those departing are no longer valid. They're making new ones and I'm sure the others will follow

To Page 121