This story starts out with the gang visiting yet another planet and, of course, they run foul of the native people, who decide that Jack is 'The Chosen'. It's not as good as it sounds, however, as'The Chosen' is the representative of the visitors nominated to receive punishment as a warning to the rest of his people to go away and never come back. Jack is separated from his friends and it becomes a race against time to find him before he dies. To me, the main problem with the story is that the writer is apparently not a native English speaker. There are several places where " 's" is used instead of plain "s", sound alike words are used incorrectly (fete instead of feat), and there is a curious, seemingly random, italicizing of text to emphasize it, yet the emphasis seems off. I would say that her editor did not do as through a job as she might have done. I did like the story because it dealt not only with Jack struggling to survive but two of his teammates trying to find him with the aid of three original characters. Unfortunately, Teal'c is injured and in the infirmary but I don't think this is an attempt to avoid writing him but rather meant to hinder Sam and Daniel's trek to rescue Jack. The writer does toss in a few twists and turns and, despite the sometimes odd English, paints a very vivid picture of this planet. I especially found one of the twists most original and honestly, something that would be fun to see on the show. I did have a few problems with Jack's injuries, simply because it is a problem I've dealt with in my own fic - how to injure a character badly enough to incapacitate him but not so badly as to kill him. This author very definitely skirts the line of survivability. The "ship" undetones that are present between Sam and Jack reach a bit of a head at the end of the story, in the form of a conversation between the two but, other than that, it's mostly confined to random thoughts and musings. This fic is definitely worth a read and will be a good example for the author to look back to in a year or so and compare her present and future writing styles. |
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