A lot of my life has been spent drinking. Many sources, and you'll have had emails about them yourselves, say that we don't drink enough water. This is hardly surprising in an urban environment - just how much mercury, chromium, chlorine, fluoride, lead, iron oxide, potassium nitrate, zinc pyridinethione and whatnot can the human kidneys stand? I found out a few months ago - but that's another story. This page is to highlight important connections between my life and drinking.
17 March 1962 -
I'm born
15 April 1967 -
Carlton defeated Fitzroy by 94 points, and I had my first beer
1972 - my
cousin Neil's 21st. I get completely hammered on two glasses of sweet
champagne
15 April 1974 -
my parents file for divorce
1979 - while
still under age, I have friends who can purchase beer on my behalf.
17 March 1980 -
woo hoo! Legal drinking age at last. Older than most of my
friends, it was now my duty to purchase the potables.
September 1980
- chicken and champagne breakfast. Freezing my arse off on the Hastings
foreshore scoffing down barbecued chicken and champagne
October 1980 -
after half a flagon (2 litres) of cheap white and six stubbies at Margaret
Briggs 18th I pass out under the pool decking - lucky I fell the right way.
I wake up the next morning with my first, and to date about fifth worst,
hangover. It feels like someone's wrapped their fist in dough and buried
it in my right eye.
1981 - my first
cocktail - the Grasshopper. This was at the time when the Swamp Water
had come out to advertise Chartreuse. If only I could remember what was
in them apart from Chartreuse.
31 December
1981 - Rod Smith's New Year's Eve party. Completely hammered on Bacardi
and Coke, I stumble through the back door, wondering why it's taking me so
long to fall. What - is that the sound of the flywire screen ripping?
Well, time for a dip in the pool, then. No time to take my clothes off,
though. Woo hoo!!
19 February
1982 - I move out of home. Now drinking begins on an industrial fashion.
July 1983 - my
first taste of fruity lexia - a wine only in the sense that it's made from
grapes or grape-like substances
November 1983 -
my first taste of bourbon. I'm off Scotch forever more.
10 March 1986 -
Triona (nee Patricia) Kennedy suggests a drink at the 'pink pub' on the corner
(of Perry and Smith Sts, Collingwood)
27 November
1986 - I start work at the Australian Taxation Office
1 December 1986
- George Antcliffe invites me over to the Golden Age for a couple of quiet
beers at lunchtime
1988 - Daryl
Armstrong invents the idea of getting a 'notch' for each day you abstain from
drinking
1 January 1993
- Advent of the Notch Graph
9 February 2007
- The Notch Graph officially ceases at Dave 'Ease' Ryder's retirement party
at the Duke of Kent.
Sure I can cook, but why bother?
Further to that, my 'ravioli con vino et vino et vino et coma' has been described as a 'war crime' by many of Melbourne's more garrulous pundits, who for some reason were clustered on the window sill the other year when I was cooking it.
From 16 March 1985 to October 1987 I did not cook one meal at home. I ate out constantly. The sudden change brought on in October was if I recall correctly the result of a bet.
Keep in mind this simple rule: the value of a meal is inversely proportional to the time taken to prepare it. This is why the cheese sandwich rules.
For some time now, Elyssa and I have been dining out in some of the planet's best and least worst estaminet. She's put together a database of reviews which you can see here.
Why should you take our opinion? You shouldn't. The essence of dining is conflict. Visit these places yourself and if you disagree with us feel free to contribute your own opinions.