You will notice a few alterations to this version of the Gekko - this brings the Irrepressible Gekko newsletter into line with the modern Gekko website.

• www.gekkoweb.i-p.com
  - the main gekko website
• www.gekkoweb.i-p.com/about
  - what's on the website
• www.gekkoweb.i-p.com/gekko
  - the current Irrepressible Gekko newsletter
• www.gekkoweb.i-p.com/library
  - a library of short fiction
• www.gekkoweb.i-p.com/family
  - Follett and Smith family trees
• www.gekkoweb.i-p.com/books
  - Jase's handbound gothic parchment books

   The redesigned website is brighter, better and easier to understand - yes it's a newsletter, no it's not about geckos (except for a gecko that fell on my head once - kind of like Newton's apple).
   And my books are online too - the gallery is finished and beautiful and working (at last) and is already generating interest from America and the UK (click here). I'll eventually add a page where you can design your own book online.
   The Follett family tree has also been updated after some major input from distant cousins and my own research (click here).
   Finally, Kristie and I have changed our preferred email addresses:

• Kristie - zazzifox@yahoo.com.au
• Jase - jasemate@internode.on.net

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Lunar Eclipse, Eros, Mir
by Jase

   For those who remember the lunar eclipse back in July 2000, here are the better photos I managed to take with my camera balanced on two kitchen chairs, and using a shaving mirror to see into the viewfinder.
   As you can see, I need a bigger lens but the photos turned out quite well - click here for a closer view. Kristie and I plan to travel to the Nullabor for the total solar eclipse on 04 December 2002.

   On another space subject, Kristie and I were among the first to see the final transmissions from the NEAR Shoemaker space probe when it landed on the Eros asteroid at 6:34am Adelaide time, 13 February 2001. We couldn't hook up to watch the live descent but did manage to catch the last few images.

The NEAR Shoemaker probe continued to transmit data until March, providing NASA with Gamma Ray Spectrometer information on the soil composition of Eros (see Reuters news article). The NEAR website continues to publish findings at http://near.jhuapl.edu/.


   Kristie, Joe and I also got to see spacestation Mir go over in February, which made good for lots of Mir puns (Mir-ssion Impossible, Les Mir-sarables, Mir-notaur, Mir-aculous, Mir-stery, Mir-ximatosis, Mir-ssing, Mir-ster Ed, Mir-nnows) such as "What were the two songs they sang as Mir burnt up?" - "Ave Mir-ia and A-Mir-zing Grace" or "What noise would the spacestation make if it entered the atmosphere backwards?" - "Mir Mir Mir Mir Mir...". We did this for days and couldn't stop! Then, around 4:30pm Adelaide time, 22 March 2001, Mir finally burnt up and fell into the South Pacific ocean. I managed to scam some footage in Quicktime format of Mir burning up over Fiji (click here).

   Well, my time at DETE came to an uncomfortable end where my boss decided not to talk to me anymore and instead of wishing me good luck simply asked for his keys back.
   I managed to pick up some work nearby in the same building, boxing and listing archived records for weeks without sunlight. But on the day I finished there I got a call from Drake to start another job.
   So, since the end of March I have been working at the Roseworthy Information Centre on the University of Adelaide Roseworthy Campus situated north of Gawler. There are cows and wallabies and gallahs, and I can breathe again.
   The Roseworthy Information Centre is run by Primary Industries (PIRSA) and is basically a big rural bookshop out in the middle of nowhere. It has books, factsheets and reports on everything from general gardening and cooking to designing goat dairies and marketing beef in Hong Kong. The Information Centre carts collections of books to all the field days and the Royal Adelaide Show, takes orders over the internet or by phone.
   Interested, then try the PIRSA Bookshop website direct, or find your own way from http://www.pir.sa.gov.au/resources/.

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Our House
by Jase

   The summer of 2000/2001 was very hot in Adelaide this year. I remember checking the thermometer after midnight one night and it was still over 30°C. We tried starting up the air conditioner - a strange beast consisting of a gas heater under an evaporative cooler (flame under a bale of hay - great!). If you remember, the gas heater doesn't work which made for a cold winter last year (and this one). Well, this summer the beast filled up with water and the bottom fell off and broke into a mess of wet rust and paint. Years of tenant abuse and an excuse for us to get rid of it - when we have the money. We managed to get by using the beast's fan (which still works) and occasionally pouring a jug of water over the bale of hay. But it's old and smells and we ended up borrowing a friends portable.
   Another fun experience was having our letterbox ripped out by hoons one night and thrown at our bedroom window. We occasionally get this kind of behavior in our neighbourhood, but at least fireworks have been banned in South Australia again and vandalism will at least be quieter. Our letterbox was OK, but we're going to replace it as well - maybe even put rat traps underneath.

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Max the Cleverer
by Jase

   Max, our Border Collie, has grown into a pretty clever dog. He doesn't go to school anymore, but has since learnt to say 'hello', walk on rickety bridges, climb ladders (sort of) and go down playground slides. Max loves playing Totem Tennis and swimming (dog got his own pool for summer - and still jumps in when he gets hot from playing tennis).
   Max thinks the car is great and likes Kristie's rally-driving style. He even got to go to the Kapunda Field Days in May and saw ferrets, goats, camels, alpacas, sheep and pigs. It's a brain-expanding thing, exposing the dog to new and interesting stuff. Should have seen him when Kristie and I took him to the Whispering Wall at Williamstown (big concave dam wall that carries sound). Kristie stood at one end and I stood at the other and called the dog - his head nearly spun off!
   One night we walked Max to the Newman's Nursery Ruins at Anstey Hill. It was very dark, but we had the nightscope and 'brjzzt' light and Kristie managed to find the fox she'd heard. We climbed the ruins, looked at distant Adelaide and the stars - by the time we made it back the dog was too wrecked to bark.

Max (as a puppy) attacking a mutant octopus

The Real Wheel Deal:
BMW F650 GS Funduro/Dakar
by Jase

   In the previous Gekko (see article) Kristie and I took both the Funduro and Dakar models of the BMW 650 GS motorcycle for test rides - a few months later I bought a secondhand model with only 1600 km on the clock.
   Since the original article brought visitors to the site looking for a review, I though I should share my experiences for prospective buyers.

Height & weight...
   The 650 is a very high bike with a strange centre of gravity - I managed to drop the bike three times in my first week (stationary, not moving) until I managed to come to grips with the weight of the thing. The metal handlebar plugs are pretty resilient and the bike lands well - no damage. The previous owner also had trouble with the bike's weight.

Comfort...
   New riders will notice the noise, vibration (eyes blur at 80kph) and unpleasant seat angle (slip forward until pants cut off circulation). The vibration and seat are new-bike symptoms and come good after about 4000km. However, consider ear plugs for rides longer than one hour.
   The handgrips are heated (low for hands, high for gloves) and the bike itself runs warm due to the big single 650cc cylinder that goes all the way into where you think the fuel tank would be - good for winter but the hot cylinder tends to make riding around town uncomfortable in summer. The 17 litre fuel tank is actually under the comfortable seat and the fuel cap is under the pillion passenger's right leg - no more petrol spills.

Economy and speed...
   Be warned, however, that the 650 runs on Premium Unleaded fuel (selling today in Australia for up to $1.10 per litre compared to $0.99 for unleaded) - this is due to an engine designed and tuned for high octane fuel. The bike responds better on Premium and will complain if fed Unleaded. Fuel economy averages around 22kpl (short of the 30kpl claimed by BMW) - expect better economy on long trips at legal speeds, but keep in mind that clothing, pillion passengers and luggage all have a noticeable effect on this particular bike. Top speed is over 150kph, and the bike is responsive enough to challenge street bikes at stop lights.

The wind factor...
   The strange centre of gravity, you eventually learn, gives the bike incredible maneuverability and the Funduro is the kind of bike you can throw around bush tracks, however this combined with the height of the bike makes it ALLERGIC TO WIND.
    Riders will notice any breeze, even thermal turbulence in no wind, and will experience the wake from vehicles up to 100 metres away - oncoming trucks become something you brace for. AVOID wind speeds over 30kph (branches of trees moving) and learn to use sheltered rather than open roads in windy weather. The wind factor is the main problem with this bike - headwinds are OK but cross winds are very dangerous even on dry roads. I recommend slowing to 90kph in bad weather, and the optional clear perspex windshield is worthwhile.

Some Dakar advice...
   The Dakar model has a black very turbulent windshield, is higher, has no centre stand, requires an extra roller for the chain due to the different angle (the roller can wear flat and stop rolling), and the Dakar is only available in black and white checks. ABS brakes may not be available for the Dakar, but are optional for the Funduro. My advice is to make additions to the Funduro and avoid the Dakar for now - though the models will no doubt continue to improve - if only BMW fixes the wind problem.
   For more information go to the BMW motorcycle website at http://www.bmw-motorrad.com/international/en/.

(click any bike for a better view)

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The Visiting Mumsie
Or Hey What is this button?
by Napoleon Bonaparte

   My Dearest Mummy came to visit on 21-25 February. It was greeeet to have her all to myself for a few days. Not that we did a great deal, just talked and ate a lot, shopped and enjoyed each other's company. Jase had the Friday off work and we went to Monarto Zoological Park near Murray Bridge. There are pictures below. I rather like it out there, each time that we go, new animal additions greet us. New to the Park is a white rhino. Not actually white mind you, but if you say "white" using the appropriate African accent, the Afrikaans word wide is what one ends up saying. Rather appropriate seeing that the White rhino has wide lips. I rather like Pouting Rhino or Luscious Lipped Kissy Rhino.
   The Saturday night that Mumsie was here, I danced at a city restaurant called "Quiet Waters". It is in Hindley St. I danced as "Nashira" - I chose this as my dancing name. After much deliberation I might add. I wanted something that meant something to me. Turns out that Nashira is a star in the constellation of Capricorn - my star sign. It is a Yiddish word that means Field, my Chinese star sign is Ox, that seemed to fit as well. I also like the beledi style dance, more folky and relaxed than the cabaret style that most people seem to associate with belly dancers.
   I enjoyed the performance, particularly Jungle Drums. A drum solo that is very silly with animal noises in the back ground. I think that it is my silver-grey ears and tail that freak people out.
   Still on the Mummy visit we (Jase, Mum and I) went out for dinner to Amalfi's. What a great place to eat. It is a tiny, noisy and very popular pizzeria ristorante in the city. The menu items can be a bit pricey for what they are, pasta and pizza. But the taste is well worth the price, not to mention the decent sized meals as well. Jase had Barramundi - less the head via special request and pleading puppy look - I et a bit as well, very tasty. If you are ever in Adelaide you have to eat there. We have been there several times and the Salt and Pepper Squid is sooo sooooo soooooooooo yummmy.

(click any photo for a better view)

Belly Dancing News
or Across the Nullabor by Sandfly
by Kristie

   On 14th July 2001 Belly Dance Arabesque presents "From Cairo to Alexandria". A night of middle eastern dance presented by teachers and students of Belly Dance Arabesque. Guess What? I am dancing in the show! How exciting is that. I will be doing a Saidi piece. What is that? Saidi is a style of folky type dance that comes from Egypt. Beledi is a folk style that comes from a different part of Egypt. The Saidi style uses an instrument called a Mizmar that sounds like a cat being trodden on. I imagine that it inspired fear much the same as the bagpipes did/do to the untrained ear. I am dancing with 5 other girls. I think that it will be fun. I have to get my costume finished soon so that I can decorated it with loads of coins and beads of the traditional type i.e. not shiny. Hopefully there will be a fabulous picture of us all looking tribal. Promise to scan it and put it in the next Gekko.
   At last year's concert a dancer from Melbourne, Zarhaa was the guest performer. She did an amazing double sword dance. From that moment on, I knew that I wanted to do one. Almost 12 months later I have a sword. It is rather fun carefully wafting around the lounge room with a silver sword balanced on your head. No it is NOT sharp. The edge is about 5mm think, a nice balancing thickness. After a while it get really, really heavy. I hope to do a proper workshop with Shamira and another one at a Belly Dancing festival at Noarlunga later this year.
   I was lucky enough to participate in a workshop with Zeyna, an Adelaide ex-patriot living in Los Angeles. She recently won the title of Belly Dancer of the Universe in modern Egyptian style at a competition in LA. A rather large girl, gee she was beautiful to watch. Unlike Shamira who is graceful and ever so wafty, Zeyna was graceful and radiated with so much life. Really I can't compare the two.

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The Christmas Thing
by Kristie

   The DRAKE Christmas party was at the Astor pub (where we used to do quiz nights) but was pretty lame compared to the previous year at the Hindley Park Royal. Freebie bags were pretty light on, and the food and drinks were not as plentiful. And it was hot. The highlight, of course, was learning that our DRAKE consultant had ringworm - we were most impressed.
   For Christmas Day we went to the Lotus Chinese restaurant for a feasty banquet. Our entree was a prawn cocktail - what is it with Australians and prawns at Christmas? Anyway, Jase was icked out by the veins left in the prawns. [They're no veins, y'know - Jase] There was a lot of prawns to be had that day. Other than that we had a lovely meal.

   Some unsubstantiated Christmas-related trivia (dedicated to Riff):

• 3 people die each year testing a 9v battery works on their tongue
• 142 people were injured in 1998 by not removing all pins from new shirts
• 58 people are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers
• 31 people have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in
• 19 people have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate
• Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents
• 101 people since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet
• 8 people had serious burns in 1998 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth
• A massive 543 people were admitted to emergency room in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth
• One person was diagnosed with ringworm
• And finally, 8 people cracked their skull in 1997 after falling asleep while throwing up into the toilet

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Visit from Chris & the Kids
by Jase

   My sister, Christine, and her two youngest children, Jonathon and Kate, came to visit in late January - probably during one of the hottest weeks in summer.
   We went all went (including Joe) to Chinese New Year's at the Lotus restaurant in Melbourne Street (still lots of prawns a month after Christmas - are prawns cheaper if you buy them by the truckload?).
   There was a silver lion for the dance this year that leapt around, drank Joe's beer and ate lettuce. Everyone then fed the lion red envelopes with gold money (symbolizing wealth and good fortune, but actually to pay for the lion dancers). [The Lion dance was fab and the Martial arts display was very bendy and good - Kristie] The banquet was enormous and we were amazed to see so much food, and left barely able to walk and fit to burst (except for Kate who's yet to appreciate strange food).
   The following day, we travelled to the beach at Goolwa, stayed too long and all got hideously sunburnt, despite wearing what we all thought was enough sunscreen. Kristie ended up with handprints from where she rested her hands.
   By the way - if anyone remembers that I used to work for Thebarton Council before it vanished into amalgamation - the previous Mayoress of Thebarton now runs the kiosk at Goolwa Beach. From ruling local government to selling ice creams - there's a career move.
    That was the weekend; during the week Kristie and I had to work and Chris and the kids were left to amuse themselves - watching our collection of Manga videos, playing on the water slide at the nearby aquatic centre, and walking the dog with me at night. What time I had left I spent making Chris's book (click here).

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Movies for Easter
by Jase

   The local cinema shows movie marathons for long weekends and the Easter long weekend is generally a guarantee. Below are a list of movies we've seen in the past few months ranked from quality to crud (based on re-see-ability), with the three we saw during the marathon marked*. Each movie is linked to a decent review.

• Shrek - must see the balloon scene!
• The Mummy Returns
• Moulin Rouge
• The Emperor's New Groove
• Quills
• Titan A.E.
• Dracula 2000
• Tomb Raider
• Traffic*
• Dude, Where's My Car?
• Exit Wounds*
• Dungeons & Dragons
• Highlander Endgame*

Lano and Woodley: Bruiser
comedy and unrelated crime
by Jase

   On the 18th of May, Kristie Joe and I went to see Lano and Woodley perform their new show "Bruiser" at the Playhouse Theatre in the Adelaide Festival Centre. I was going to butcher a review from the internet, but all the reviews were crap, so...
   Colin Lane and Frank Woodley meet Bruiser (foam muscles, nasty permed wig, rough English accent) at a gym. Frank gets picked on by Bruiser, Col falls for the French blonde girlfriend of Bruiser, and Bruiser is eager to 'cut-you-up'.
   Originally meant for four actors but two didn't front (viz script) Lano and Woodley are left to play all four roles, swapping, changing, playing each other, using wig puppets - it works.
   Funny? Not damn funny but pretty funny, and worth the rather short 80 minutes (no interval). The computer generated slideshow and projection effects lead to the climax of not Frank vs Bruiser but Col (with an English airman accent) vs Bruiser with lots of Warner Bros humour. Sign your ticket after the show - no problems (genuine good guys).

Later that night...
   When we walked back to Joe's car (after the rat on the bridge and the possum in the park), Joe's car had been broken into and all his car mess has been... messed! Kristie reckoned that she spotted the deviant, but Joe was satisfied that nothing was missing and just wanted to get home.
   Back at our house Joe locked the car - and with a busted lock couldn't open the door again! We re-enacted the break-in and I was shocked at how quick and easy it was. Cars are simply not safe, even when locked. Don't leave anything behind that you particularly want, or at lease leave enough mess to confuse the criminals long enough for passersby to notice.

Our Victorian Visit
2000km in three days
by Jase

   In May there's the Adelaide Cup Day long weekend which is our opportunity to travel to Victoria. This year we were unable to get any extra days off work and so had to travel on the 19th, visit on the 20th, and travel back on the 21st - pretty nasty.
   Apologies to all those who haven't seen us for years, but we need to know you're still there for next time - maybe you could phone/write? AND it's my birthday soon...
   Max came with us and got to visit everyone - Jan and Bill at Heathcote, my parents (Coran and Mick) in Campbell's Creek, and the Fogues in Kangaroo Flat.
   For my part, I'd just like to say that it was good to see everyone, but especially to talk with my father for an hour or two about Lord of the Rings, camp trailers, sheep, creeks that flood. Some things are only important when they aren't. It's a boy thing.
   And mum will be pleased that Kristie and I wear the hats she knitted us every night when we walk the dog - and that the honey joys worked out fine. We may yet come over for Christmas.

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Max Applies for a Job
by Zoe and Matthew (our cats)

   A local business put a sign in the window: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
   A short time later, Max the dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He wagged his tail at the receptionist, then walked over to the sign and whined.
   Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least but lead Max into his office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.
    The manager said "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." Max jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He trotted the page and over to the manager, gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.
   The manager was stunned, but then told the dog "the sign says you have to be good with a computer." Max jumped down again and went to the computer and wrote a perfect program.
   By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at Max and said "I realize you're a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. But, I still can't give you the job."
   Max jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said "yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual."
   The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, "Meow!"

Kristie (as Naga the Serpent girl)
'Live stuff, dead stuff, and artt' - by Kristie

   This is the second time that I have had to type this, you know. As I went to save it , the program "Unexpectedly Quit". Bollocks! I say it knew what a work of art I had produced and it was all a horrid conspiracy to rid the world of literature.
   However, on the 12th of May Jase and I went to the Zoo. It was kinda like a date, minus the awkwardness that is sometimes apparent in those circumstances. Not a lot had changed since the last time that we were there. The Meerkats had mostly been relocated to Monarto, that was a little bit sad. The ones that we did see where eating dead mice, that was funny to watch. I missed the otters, we saw only one. I think that might have had something to do with the recent birth of two little ones. Possibly they were all separated due to one being pregnant.
   I think that the style of zooness is changing. When the idea of zoos began all the animals would have been kept in tiny cages with concrete floors, slowly the cages got bigger and there was the addition of habitat. The trend seems to be moving towards free roaming of non predatory animals.
   Adelaide Zoo a few years ago trialled free range the little orange monkeys - the name eludes me for the moment [Golden Tamarinds - Jase]. While Jase and I were there we got to see blue and gold macaws fly free. WOW one lady nearly had her head grazed as the huge parrot glided over. They are trained to go for the seed that a bloke puts in the special places in the trees. He makes a clenched fist and does a wrist flick, I think that this is a rude gesture and insights the birds to violence. But they smell the seed and while they are distracted, the bloke buggers off to another tree and the process begins again, maybe. Sometimes no matter now rude the gesture, the birds just want to eat the microphone of the other bloke who is talking.
   It would be great to think that in 50 years time all the cages would be gone and the trend was for zoos to be more like Monatro and Dubbo.
   One the 1st of June, Jase and I went to the Museum. Amidst the proliferation of dead things, there is a great lot of Aboriginal Heritage items. I particularly liked the tin masks. We were both rather disturbed by the section dedicated to the people of the islands, Fiji, PNG etc. There is are certain reactions that one has to cannibalism, and I think that all of them where experienced by me that day. The carven skull were good though. There was too much violence in those displays for my comfort.
   I did enjoy the Gem and Mineral display however. Lots of colour and shiny things.
   After a bit of walking around, no after a great bucket of walking around, we decided that we had seen enough dead stuff for the day. On the way back to the car, I dragged Jase into the Art Gallery. There are two paintings that the Adelaide Gallery owns of which I am particularly fond. Circe by John William Waterhouse and The Priestess of Delphi by another guy. I was awe struck by the detail. I could almost hear the brush strokes of the artists as the created the works. Jase was amazed by a painting of the Madonna and Child. I looked at it and the three dimensional features of the child's hands and toes were amazing. Of course there were other paintings of great note, such as the landscapes - but I hate modern art. It is crap. The older painters went to so much trouble to get detail and shading. Their works tells story, one can speculate about the characters in the paint. There is nothing worth speculating about in a purely red canvas. I get a bit annoyed about what is classed as art these days.
   The Kapunda field day was fun. Jase told me about the ferrets and we had to go. Kristie, Jase, Max and Joe got to wander around with farmers and their wares for a day. It was good fun - Max got to have another mind expand. Sheep of various breeds, alpacas, petting zoo rabbits, pigs and ducks. I bought some bulbs and a couple of unusual geraniums. The bulbs are starting to poke their greenness through the pea straw.