Church Plays

© Wendy Noble 2000

CHARACTERS:
Bluey: the sheep dog (can be real, if well trained, or a toy).
Davo: leader of the group.
Jo: a woman, disguised as a man, and wearing a false beard.  The others do not know she is a woman.
Phil: younger than Davo and obviously looks up to him.
Charlie: a person of few words; can be a child.
Gabriel: archangel; only heard, never seen by audience.

Scene I

The four shepherds are seated on fold-up (picnic or director’s) chairs.  Davo has binoculars.  Jo and Phil have large torches. Charlie is in charge of the dog. It is a cold night, so they may have a rug over their knees, or a parka/coat on their shoulders or draped over their legs; perhaps wearing a beanie or a scarf etc.

DAVO Cold tonight, ain’t it! (The others nod in agreement. Davo looks through binoculars)  The sheep seem a little restless.  Can’t see anything out there that’d stir ‘em up.  Give us some light will ya, fellas.

Jo and Phil shine their torches in direction Davo is looking.

DAVO Nah! Nothin’. (They turn off their torches).

Suddenly they hear a trumpet blast, to herald an announcement. [Have a musician play, if possible, otherwise use recorded music] They are all startled and when recovered, look all around them to see where it came from.

JO (In normal female voice) What the (clears throat, speaks in fake male voice) what the heck was that!

PHIL Sounded like a trumpet.  Don’t ya reckon, Davo?

DAVO Yeah.  Scratches head in bemusement.  But a trumpet out here?   

GABRIEL Unseen by audience. Excuse me.

All look around again, trying to see who’s speaking.

GABRIEL No, up here!

They all look up, and get the shock of their lives.

GABRIEL (In his ‘important announcement’ voice)  Be not afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy which will come to all the people. For to you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you; you will find a babe wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.  (Back to normal voice – instructing his choral troop)  Ready? and a-one, and a-two, and a three four five.   [play recording of the chorus “Glory to God” from Handel’s Messiah; needn’t be the whole lot.]

As the music fades, all four sit, stunned. It takes a little while for them to recover. Charlie continues to stare, with mouth hanging open, towards where the angels had been, as the others discuss the situation. He absent-mindedly scratches Bluey’s ears.

PHIL What was that Davo?  Did you see what I saw?

DAVO I dunno. What did you see Phil?

PHIL I thought you’d tell us, Davo. You know a lot more about shepherding than the rest of us. Does this sort of thing happen often?

DAVO Can’t say it does, Phil. That was definitely a first for me!  (Thoughtfully)  I could be wrong...

PHIL (Interrupting) Aw, not you Davo! (Jo looks disgusted)

DAVO Thanks mate. No, I was going to say, they could have been angels. Do you think?

JO Not too many people can hover in the air like that... and sing at the same time.

DAVO That’s true. Good observation, Jo.  So, what did that bloke with the trumpet say? You know, before they all started singing.

JO A baby’s been born and some no-hoper’s put it in a manger.

PHIL Nah, it wasn’t just ‘some baby’; it’s “a saviour, Christ the Lord.” What do you reckon that means, Davo?

DAVO Don't know, Phil.  P’raps we’d better go over to Bethlehem and check it out. After all, a stable’s not the best place to put a baby.  Some dopey cow could tread on it or something. Jo, you and Charlie stay here with the sheep and me and Phil will try to find this kid.

JO No way!  I’m not missing out!  Why should I miss out?  They sang to me too.  Why can’t Phil stay?

PHIL You’re never leaving me here are you, Davo?  Why can’t Charlie mind the sheep? He’s got Bluey to help him.

CHARLIE (turns towards others and says, very definitely...) We ain’t stayin’!

DAVO We’ll all go.  We’ll just shut ‘em in their pens.  This is gonna be pretty special, so it’s only fair we all get to see it. Just think boys, God sent a bunch of angels to sing to us. If He’s done that for us, I wonder how He’s told the bigwigs the news. Eh?

Come on, let’s go.

JO I bet we have to queue for ages.

ACT 11

Upon The Shepherds’ Return

Davo, Phil and Charlie, who is carrying Bluey, return rejoicing, blowing party hooters, singing, dancing etc. Jo is walking behind them, more slowly and deep in thought.  They sit down, with deep, contented sighs.

DAVO Well, who’d have thought.  God’s been born in a stable!  And we got to see Him. (Phil and Charlie, agreeing, shake their heads in wonder.) I thought there’d be mobs of people:  the mayor, the chief priest, even rotten old Herod, maybe.  But it was just us!

PHIL And Harold and Betty.

DAVO Well, yeah, but they didn’t get a special invite like what we got.

PHIL No, but it was their stable.

DAVO Are you trying to be difficult, Phil?

PHIL Not me, Davo. 

CHARLIE He was lovely.

They all sigh and agree.

DAVO I hope they get him a decent bed soon. It don't seem right God being in a manger like that. Gosh, he’s starting out as rough as us.  Just think boys, God’ll know what it’s like for us ordinary blokes down here.  (They stop and think.  Jo shifts uncomfortably on chair.)  What’s up Jo?

JO Well, He’s God isn’t He? (all agree.) Well, God knows everything, doesn’t He?  (all agree) I thought so.  He looked straight through me.  That little baby looked straight through me.  Then He smiled such a lovely smile. I felt so ashamed.

PHIL Why?

JO ‘Cos He knows.

DAVO What?

JO This! (Takes off false beard.)

Gasps of shock from the others.

PHIL Oh no! You can’t grow a beard!

DAVO No, dopey! He’s a girl.

JO (Normal voice) Yes, I’m not Jo, I’m Joanne. Look, Dad died, I don't have a husband or a brother and all Mum and I had were the sheep. Do you know how hard it is for a single girl to earn a decent living? I’ve been so scared and so unhappy.  But tonight I saw God in that little baby and I felt He loved me and that He understood…and I’ve decided I’m not going to lie any more.     Charlie pats her hand.

PHIL Wow! What do you reckon about that, Davo?

DAVO Well boys...er… and er, Joanne, I reckon none of us are ever gonna be the same. We got God living among us.  And He didn’t just come for priests and kings.  He came here for blokes like you and me. Herod didn’t hear no angels singing.

PHIL That’s right, Davo.  Ain’t that something!

DAVO It’s what I call ‘good news’ Phil. (They all nod in agreement.) Come on, let’s go check on our sheep.   EXIT.

THE END

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