:-) The Martian Drama


Characters

Props

Script

Martian:
Spaceship landing. (Coloured lights flashing)
(Walks onto stage with microphone and then looks around, plays with buttons on recorder and speaks) Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. This is Garg Halfrag from EYEWITNESS NEWS - MARS reporting on Martian interest stories from the planet EARTH. (TV enters while M speaks). Excuse me, sir. Are you an earthling?
TV Technician:
Er...yes!
Martian:
Well, I am here to make a story about something that has changed the earth. It must be a scoop or I will lose my job. What is something that has changed the way you earthlings live?
TV Technician:
Will my name be in it?
Martian:
Of course. You stupid earthlings are all the same!
TV Technician:
Television!
Martian:
What is television.
TV Technician:
(Describes TV).
Martian:
No good. We have it on Mars. (exit TV).
(Enter thief escorted by policeman).
Martian:
Excuse me, sir. My name is Garg Halfrag Could you tell me something that has changed the way people live?
Thief:
MONEY! (Holds up wallet and displays money).
Policeman:
(Recognising his wallet) Hey! (Snatches wallet back and propels thief offstage.)
Martian:
No, no, no! We've already got that, too.
(car crash).
(Enter driver - obviously just had an accident).
Martian:
Excuse me, please. I'm Garg Halfrag from EYEWITNESS NEWS - MARS and I'm doing a Martian interest story here on earth. Could you tell me something that has changed the way people live?
Driver:
My car, my poor car! (A little hysterical)
Martian:
A car! What is a car?
Driver:
What is a car!?! Just look at it! A policeman and a man with a bag just stepped out in front of me....
Martian:
(Grimaces) Oh, we have plenty of them on Mars!
(Exit Driver)
(Sound of plane landing followed by crash).
Pilot:
(Storming on - furious) Was that your car on the runway!?!
Martian:
Er...no, my name is Garg Halfrag from...
Pilot:
I don't care who you are - who is going to pay for my airplane?
Martian:
Airplane? What's an airplane?
Pilot:
What's an airplane? Why, it's the ONLY way to travel - soaring through the sky above the worries of the world. Just you and your machine flying with the clouds...
Martian:
Oh, is that all - we have space shuttles on Mars. (Exit Pilot, enter 0rdinary)
Ordinary:
(Walks up to M and stares before pointing off stage) Did you do all that?
Martian:
Er, no. I'm Garg Halfrag from EYEWITNESS NEWS - MARS and I'm doing a martian interest story here on earth. Could you tell me something that has changed the way people live?
Ordinary:
Can it be something that happened a long time ago?
Martian:
Anything, but it must be good.
Ordinary:
2000 years ago?
Martian:
Continue, continue.
Ordinary:
God sent his Son into the world.
Martian:
Son of God comes to earth. What was the Son of God's name?
Ordinary:
Jesus, Jesus Christ.
Martian:
What did the Son of God do?
Ordinary:
Jesus did lots of things: he raised the dead, healed the sick, walked on water, etc.
Martian:
Very good! How about this title: EARTHLINGS HAVE BANQUET FOR THE SON OF GOD?
(Spaceship warming up)
Ordinary:
No, no.
Martian:
I must hurry...how about: EARTHLINGS BUILD CASTLE FOR THE SON OF GOD, THEIR FRIEND?
Ordinary:
No, we didn't do that either.
Martian:
I must go - EARTHLINGS GIVE TROPHY AND MEDALS TO THE SON OF GOD?
Ordinary:
No, no.
Martian:
You earthlings are strange. I'm leaving, I'll write - EARTHLINGS BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP THE SON OF GOD! (Runs offstage)
Ordinary:
No, we did not fall down and worship him!
Martian:
(Echo as ship leaves) Well, what did you do then?
Ordinary:
(Ordinary watches spaceship disappear then turns to audience).
We killed him.(Exit)

This document copyright (c) 1995 by Mathew Pole. Reproduction and/or distribution for non-commercial purposes is permissible providing that the drama is left fully intact. Permission is given to modify the drama for personal use, under the condition that the changes are not redistributed. Please send additions or corrections to Mathew and Paulyn Pole (mathew.paulyn@iname.com)
Last changed: Saturday 12 August 1995