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GRUESOME GEMINI... |
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 The Oracle of Bitter Truth for December 2001
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Salutations, you vapid little receptacles of the two-faced persuasion! If you think you’re in for a merry Christmas and a happy New Year, then you must think again! Explosive disaster of unparalleled and tragic proportion awaits you while the rest of us look on in spiteful glee!
You arrive back in your homeland as the FULL MOON glares down upon us all in your odious sign, thus striking up nasty sparks with the great Sol Invicti in the sign of Sagittarius and your solar seventh house. Thus we find you at the airport, breaking free from the grasp of your rescuer (you’re bored with her/him now anyway) and ready to get your life on track once more. But then your eyes are opened. As Venus the goddess makes her way into Sagittarius and your solar seventh house, you find home isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. You’re confronted by a vast array of cheated business partners, jilted lovers (of both sexes), angry pensioners (remember the old folk?) and the redoubtable hitman.
And when the great Sol Invicti and Mercury the messenger conjoin to oppose Saturn and then dance with underworld Pluto, you get a taste of what’s in store. Firstly, you receive a tongue-lashing from a variety of sources, a raft of outstanding bills and then there are a few stray shots from the hitman himself, just close enough to let you know he has missed intentionally. Ye gods, little two-faces! This hardly seems right! After all, you cheated them all, fair and square, and, what’s more, you exploited them equally. What are they complaining about?
As mighty Mars moves into Pisces and your solar tenth house, you decide to take steps to break with the past and make a new start. You decide you’ll become a surgeon specializing in foot deformities or perhaps a drug-smuggler, or perhaps you could buy shares in a brewery or you could start an affair with a naval officer. As usual, you decide to do them all at once whilst trying to avoid being harassed by aged persons and ex-partners and being killed by a skilled professional. Life’s just one jolly round of beer and skittles for you little air sign twits, isn’t it! While you’re busy trying to train the naval officer to 'lower away’ in just the way you like it, you’re suddenly afflicted by a strange crisis and find you simply can’t continue going through the motions.
As Chiron enters Capricorn and your solar eighth house, doubts and fears about your sexuality overwhelm you. You have to make a double appointment with your therapist. After forcing her/him to listen to the kind of drivel you talk for an entire afternoon, you decide to make a new start in the matter of relationships as the NEW MOON comes in Sagittarius, bringing a solar eclipse. However, your therapist threatens to have you forcibly removed from the building if you ever try to make another appointment and the old people and the assassin keep chasing you. Added to that, the naval officer keeps ringing you on the mobile to ask if she/he can pull her pants back up yet. What a stressful day!
As a multitude of planetary and luminary bodies now move into Capricorn and your solar eighth house, you bash the credit card and end up in a brothel while desperately searching for a new therapist to cure your ills. As mighty Mars wrestles with sober Saturn, you find your extremities become paralyzed because of a muscular condition. Then, as mighty Mars makes mayhem with underworld Pluto, the cohorts of the jilted, the aged and the murderous arrive at the brothel to find you incapacitated and at their mercy. They place your rigid body in a deep freeze at the seedy end of town until they can decide what hideous fate should befall you. Oh dear, little two-faces. Oh well! Stay cool till after Yule and I’ll see you next year.
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astrologers@astrologycom.comContents Copyright © 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002ASTROLOGY ON THE WEBPO Box 1910 Bowral NSW 2576 Australia
Phone: +61 2 4861 3600 - Fax: +61 2 4861 2208
Updated: Tuesday, 5 February 2002
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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