16th July 2003 - It's all in the numbers!
The two white nations of the South Pacific don't seem to have much in common. Early Australians achieved the systematic slaughter of their indigenous population while raping the land to produce their ultimate export: two actors based on crocodiles. Meanwhile, New Zealanders were meekly forced into a treaty (albeit with much larger aborigines), eventually becoming a nation with only sheep and an America's Cup to their name.
But New Zealand's been stealing a lot of Down Under Thunder lately, scooping sporting awards, kudos with anti-nuclear bleeding hearts, and Lord of the Rings movies. Perhaps it's time that Australia, as self-appointed regional policeman, took its umbrage across the Tasman and showed the Kiwis just who the sheep molesters are. (Hint: listen to the lyrics of 'Waltzing Matilda')
Archaeological evidence indicates that Aborigines were living in Australia at least 40,000 years ago. By the time Europeans settled, Aborigines numbered around 300,000 but their numbers rapidly dwindled after settlement through introduced diseases and death at the hands of settlers. In the 17th century, European explorers sailed along the coast of Australia. No country took formal possession until 1770, when Capt. James Cook claimed it for Britain.
The first settlement was a British penal colony, established on 26 Jan. 1788 at Port Jackson (now Sydney). Transportation to New South Wales (NSW) ended in 1840. In all, around 160,000 convicts were sent to Australia.
Australia became a commonwealth of the British Empire in 1901. It was able to take advantage of its natural resources to rapidly develop its agricultural and manufacturing industries and to make a major contribution to the British effort in World Wars I and II. Long-term concerns include pollution, particularly depletion of the ozone layer, and management and conservation of coastal areas, especially the Great Barrier Reef. A referendum to change Australia's status, from a commonwealth headed by the British monarch to a republic, was defeated in 1999.
The Polynesian Maoris reached New Zealand in about the 800 AD. The British proclaimed their sovereignty over the islands in 1840 and began settlement that same year. A series of land wars between 1843 and 1872 ended with the defeat of the native peoples. The British colony of New Zealand became an independent dominion in 1907 and supported the UK militarily in both World Wars. New Zealand's full participation in number of defense alliances lapsed by the 1980s. In recent years the government has sought to address longstanding Maori grievances.
$NZ78 million was provided by the government on 21 Feb. 2001 to set up a People's Bank providing a full range of services at low charges as an alternative to the exorbitant charges imposed by foreign-owned banks.
A permanent ban on European beef and beef products was announced by the government in attempts to evade the human form of mad cow disease (July 2001).
The US's 26-year opposition to NZ Labour Party leaders visiting the White House, arising from NZ's anti-nuclear policies, was dropped in Jan. 2002 in response to NZ's support for the US-led 'war on terrorism'.
Interesting how the CIA's updated 'world factbook' describes New Zealand's alliances as 'lapsed' after the second gulf war - after NZ failed to support the invasion of Iraq, but details... details...
Let's get ready to rumble!
| Australia | New Zealand | |
| Population | 19,456,792 | 3,908,037 |
| Population Growth | 0.96% | 1.12% |
| Life Expectancy | 80 years | 78.15 years |
| Fertility rate | 1.77 children/woman | 1.8 children/woman |
Australia may have the larger population and life expectancy, but New Zealand's fecund females are providing the much-needed population boost.... and that's not including the sheep. Draw.
| Australia | New Zealand | |
| GDP (USD) | $528 billion | $75.4 billion |
| GDP Per Capita (USD) | $27,000 | $19,500 |
| GDP growth | 3.6% | 3.1% |
| Unemployment | 6.3% | 5.5% |
Although Australia cranks out the dollars, both GDPs per capita and growth rates are comparable. New Zealand really pips Australia in the unemployment rate though, proving that a protectionist welfare state doesn't breed a nation of slackers. (Once again, not counting the sheep.) Narrow win to New Zealand.
| Australia | New Zealand | |
| Military Manpower - fit for service | 4,321,387 males aged 15-49 | 850,185 males aged 15-49 |
| Military expenditure (USD) | $9.3 billion | $515.6 million |
| Military expenditure - % of GDP | 2% | 1.2% |
Unfortunately when it comes to biffo it's might, not proportion, that makes the difference. Australia has never walked away from other people's fights, and would not be averse to using force to settle, once and for all, which was the better nation. Australia rams it in. (Unless you could draft sheep.)
Australians would rather to forget that their brewing, telecommunications, and airline industries are part-owned by New Zealanders. They cry "sheep-shaggers!" should anyone dare suggest New Zealand a country more fair. Most Aussies take solace in knowing that they can just march over and jackboot the place if push ever came to shove, but the kiwi puts up a mean fight for a flightless bird...
"They'll eat our nuclear 'fush and (fission - get it?) chups' and like it. Too bloody right!"
Aussie, Aussie, Aussie...
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