(21 June) Although I bag my married friends for giving up the good times. I don't think I'm in a position to judge. By mocking them, perhaps I'm putting the 'ism' in 'this is all just a defence mechan-ism.'
I have all this time and money that I needn't spend on anyone but myself. Life should be been one endless party, a celebration of selfishness. So what have I done with my freedom?
Have I travelled the world? Become a career God? Made a million? Outsold J.K. Fricking Rowling? Bedded a vomitorium of models?
No.
I bought a fucking house.
That's right, I've spent the last five years paying off a house, when I could have club-crawled the Riviera. A good day for me is admiring my handiwork on the bathroom taps, not the turtle wax on the Merc. I criticise others for being boring, but few purchases are as conservative as a house. That's especially true considering that I didn't have to buy one - I'm not starting a family.
Perhaps I get some satisfaction from knowing that I don't need to start a family to make a home - as in a rerun of Ally McBeal I caught on the weekend. In truth though, I just did what I thought was right at each point in time, and this is the way things turned out. I could have tried to succeed socially in terms of work, fame, or sex were I motivated enough, but I find people more unpredictable, exhausting, and generally disappointing than property.
I am so lame.
Ting Ting discovered my pr0n over the network the other day. I think watching Adriana Sage get pounded by some anonymous cock-boy freaked her out a little. Well, that'll teach her to look through my files.
Pr0n, Xbox, training. Maybe it doesn't really matter what I spend my time on, as long as I spend it on myself. It's not important that I accomplish nothing. Were objective goals involved, then the time spent would not be self-indulgent - or simple. I would be trying to live up to an image of wild abandon rather than realising that true freedom comes from making choices freely at the time.
I'm beginning to think that the simple pleasures are just as valuable as the extravagant ones. Perhaps even more so since, once we make 'commitments', it's the simple pleasures we have to give up in order to share - dilute with others - the more excessive ones. Pr0n becomes 'out', Overseas vacations becomes 'in'. Posh eatery-of-the-week: da, Xbox: nyet.
I relinquish nothing. I share nothing. I get a truckload of enjoyment (if not fulfilment) in return. That's so lame, it actually sounds pretty good.
Now, check out what I did to those bathroom taps.
P.S. How nice to see that no matter what disagreements I have with my parents, I will always be able to get them to babysit for me. Convenience: the glue that bonds the ties that bind.
P.P.S. Cartoon's a bit crap this week. Seemed funny until about halfway through drawing it, which is about the time my micro-manager decided to have a 'chat' to me about misusing computing resources. Counting the days, counting the days...
(19 May) Bored? Unchallenged? Why not get married?
Admit it, you've bought everything a single could want by now. It's time to spice up your life. Break out of the rut of singles consumerism by creating a couples consumer unit. Open a whole new catalogue of spending opportunities: wedding packages, residential property, baby gear.
Take your relationship to the next logical step. It's a biological urge, it's a social urge, it's a national urge. Don't be selfish and ignore it. I'm talking to YOU, Mr/Ms "I value my autonomy too much."
All your friends are doing it. No time to question or you'll miss out. You don't want to be a killjoy. No one likes killjoys, let alone marries them.
Sure you increase your exposure to legal liability, but risk equals reward. And just like bungee-jumping, it can also equal fun!
Unhappy marriages? Pshaw! How could that be when everyone in the photos is smiling?
'Married' is the new 'single'. If you haven't tied the knot, you're obviously unhappy. Quickly now! The next one bribing the bridesmaids could be you!
(Fiancees required, sold separately.)
(8 April) Apologies for the ethics in-joke, but you are collateral damage in a little dig at omnizac, one of the 9 Wallala regularrs.
With the trouble I've had filling the ensuite vacancy, I realise how lucky I've been to find such wonderful housemates all these years.
It's only Eun moving in at the last minute which seems to have broken the spell of lukewarm appraisals and last-minute cool-offs.
In lean times it's very tempting to make a unilateral decision to install someone. It would be far easier than arranging scrutiny, seeking feedback, and risking dissent. After all, I would not be setting a precedent. I hear I am in the minority of share-custodians who insist that all share-mates participate in our miniature democracies. In addition, I seek unanimous approval for new lodgers, which I am sure strains relationships further. (Many would say unnecessarily.) These difficult periods test not only the efficacy of our principles, but also the rigor by which we observe them.
Get the wrong person in and I could end up with three vacancies instead of one.