The first thing he says is that 81 percent of couples in the Northern Territory live together before marriage, making the argument that if everybody is doing it then it must be OK. This is populism at it's most extreme. We don't accept populism that well if it is in politics, it has NO place in Christianity. Just think what would have happened if Jesus watered down His message to fit with the people of His times. Go and read what He said, you will find it quite confronting, and not at all in keeping with the prevailing morality and culture, let alone the culture of today.

The second thing he said that annoyed me was this:

"The question is how do you actually get to know that other person on a deep level, which is so important before you make an actual commitment to someone else."

This IMHO displays an incorrect understanding of what marriage is. I believe that when you have sex with someone you have already made a committment to that person, you have become "one flesh" with that person. You have already shared on the deepest physical, emotional and physical level. To my mind a wedding ceremony is only a public acknowledgement of the comittment that two people have before consumating that comittment. If you go ahead and consumate without the comittment and then seperate then it leaves a damaging brokenness and hurt which is less than God intended. Many of my friends who are divorced or saved in later life will attest to this.

As an aside this also has a bearing on my views on divorce. If a marriage ceremony is only a public acknowledgement of a comittment to another person, albeit an important one, then a divorce is only a public acknowledgement of the breaking of that comittment by one or both parties. Getting hung up on the legal formality that is a symbol of what has already happened is wrong IMHO, far better to concentrate on both parties keeping up the comittment.

If I ever get married I intend to keep that comittment no matter what. This doesen't mean I will never be divorced because a marriage takes two. I also intend that the person I marry will have the same sort of comittment so I can't think that divorce will be likely for me. On the other hand I have a number of friends who have found themselves on the receiving end of someone else who has broken the promises that they made at marriage and I don't think the church should judge them for it.