The dynamics and politics of inter gender and cross gender friendships in a group of largely single people are fascinating. The girls seem to have it all together, they understand each other, and care deeply. They share deeply of their feelings with each other and form some awesome bonds. They are great at keeping up relationships by taking the time to connect. As guys we seem to take longer to form lasting bonds, we find it harder to share our feelings, we are not as organized when it comes to running a social life and, to be honest, find it easier to connect with girls rather than other guys. So what happens ? The girls organize things and invite the guys. The guys find it easier to relate to the girls and form some really great friendships but they never share the sort of bond that girls develop together and don't have a bond with other guys and so sometimes feel left out.

What's the solution ?

I don't really have the answers but here's a few things I reckon:

1. Don't be jealous of the girls. They have a special bond just as God intended and desiring that kind of relationship as a guy will only end in a sense of alienation and resentment. Cherish the friendships that girls have with one another.
   
2. Take some responsibility. God created men with leadership qualities and leadership includes authority, responsibility and accountability. Take a lead sometimes with social life, organize events, reply to SMS, be punctual, don't let things be organized for you.
   
3. Make the effort. Because guys find it harder to form close same sex friendships it's going to take some effort to make them happen. I can't say I'm good at this last one but I'm trying.
   

I'm not sure how to end this post, I think it's going to create some interesting discussion when my friends read it. I don't yet know the answers, this is just where I'm at at the moment.

posted by Peter at 9:52 PM