I was reading this article in the Australian this morning over breakfast in a local cafe this morning and it set me to pondering as to what I thought about the idea of a divorce party.

Divorce is horrible, I've seen people I know go through it and it would have to rate up there with any of the most traumatic experiences it is possible to go through in this life. The idea of having a ritual, a cutting off point, to mark the passing of the old life, the one with all the pain and anguish, and the beginning of the new independant them is an appealing one. It is a celebration of independance and sufficiency apart from the partner that has hurt, and may still be hurting, them greatly, especially if there are kids and regular access visits involved.

Then I looked at it from another perspective: would you invite Jesus to a divorce party? If we are so busy declaring to the world that we are sufficient on our own is there room for us to depend on the one who gave His life for us? If the purpose is to validate the feelings of bitterness and hurt that divorce often engenders then how much more difficult is it to forgive the other person as Jesus compels us? If we can publicly blame the other person for what they have done then how is this reflecting the grace that God has shown us when we fail again and again? Is deliberately celebrating the end of a relationship the wrong message to be sending to our kids? In short is our desire to move on leading us into the sorts of behaviour that are spiritually unhealthy for us when we go overboard and is it making it more difficult for us to heal?

Are divorce parties wrong in general? I don't know but I think that they are a temptation to do some really unhealthy things that need to be avoided and in that sense they need to be approached with extreme caution.


posted by Peter at 10:18 AM

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